A Horrible Nightmare...

I've been obsessed for 3 full days now by this nightmare. It's not easy for me to talk about it but I have the feeling I need to do it so here I am.

For the first night in 3 weeks nobody, kitten, children or snoring/tv-addict husband, was waking me up. But then, I had this nightmare.

I have to explain you first how Mr Son takes his baths usually.
I set the right temperature then put him in the tub as the water flows. I usually go for 5 minutes or so across the corridor to check my emails or sort some papers while I keep a (good) "ear" on him. As soon as I don't hear a noise, I check on him. I don't go anywhere else, don't answer the phone or the door.

My dream starts the same except that I see myself going downstairs to talk with my husband in the kitchen. After a while, I remember Mr Son and go quicly upstairs....

Mr Son is floating in a more than full bathtub, face towards its bottom...I scream like crazy, calling my husband while I try to do CPR on Mr Son. I wake up at that very moment..

I told you, A NIGHTMARE...certainly the worst one.

It took me 2 hours to get back to sleep...

Since then, I can't do anything that has any small detail similar to that nightmare.
I am hugging him much much more than usual (and usually it's still a lot !)
I am scared to lose him.
Since then, he is scared to go to bed at night. It's not something new, it's periodical but this time, I see it in a different way. Maybe he's feeling my fears, feeling that I am nervous...maybe I am wrong. I don't know.

Then, as we were driving between Miss Daughter's school and Mr Son's daycare today, we saw an ambulance making its way through the traffic.

I say "Jeez, that makes me think I forgot my cell. It's ok now I picked you up but if anything happens to Mr Son, I won't know it until we get there". (why didn't I keep that thought for myself !)

She says "Mommy, what if he was in that ambulance ?", she paused a few seconds that adds "you'll be devastated if anything happens to your favorite son".

Here we are, it's not the first time she complains to me about him being my favorite (she says) but today, it has a different color...(and this will be the subject of a different post)

I am not good at looking for special meaning to dreams (and I don't have time for that) but this one is so scary...Mr Son wasn't alone for more than 1 minute during his last 3 baths and I still have that horrible dream in my eyes...